By Jennifer Openshaw
Mental health is grabbing headlines – and funding – in Greenwich and beyond. From group therapy through Greenwich Hospital/Yale New Haven to the United Way’s initiative to build a mental health center, there are growing efforts to help our young people.
While mental health issues have been with us for years, the rate of growth ballooned during Covid. In fact, the Center for Disease Control says teen suicide rose 62% from 2007 to 2021.
Closer to home, in 2022, 15% of Connecticut teens had a major depressive episode, and 65.6% of them did not receive treatment according to the Mental Health America. In Fairfield County, 64% of youth ages 12–17 reported suffering from anxiety and/or depression.
I have seen this first hand, in our schools, with our friends’ kids, and even in the projects our GWI students have created. I remember seven years ago, when launching our Business Academy after-school program, one 16-year-old from Greenwich created an initiative to address teen depression – a reflection of her own battle and ongoing therapy.
In a subsequent GWI cohort, another student – this one from Boston – created a venture centered on using poetry to address teen suicide.
And yet another young woman used her degree in social work – coupled with her love of horses – to create an equine therapy business.
One of the keys to addressing this situation and reducing the likelihood of developing mental health issues – and I’m a mother of two myself – is to create an environment in which your child or student can thrive, while avoiding the pressure that naturally comes from a high-achieving, highly-comparative environments like we have in Greenwich.
What are some of the ways in which you can accomplish that?
School friend group — Not all friend groups are created equal. There can be pressure, expectations, taking sides, and much more. Have regular conversations with your child to talk through their friendships, the qualities they want, and help them find the right friends. Taking a proactive approach and making a change if needed, will also demonstrate that they can overcome – indeed, move through – painful and challenging moments and come out happier on the other side.
A community outside school – Youth groups through churches and synagogues or special programs through such organizations can do wonders. These environments tend to be less pressured, achievement-oriented, and cliquey. For my children, they’ve offered an alternative, safe and supportive environment where they’re not only learning deep music theory, team work, and discipline, but building lifelong friendships.
Physical outlet – Any sport, especially those with a team, can be a great outlet for stress and new friendships. Sports of any kind, but in particular team-sports, build many of the skills, including teamwork and confidence, that will lead to lifetime success. They provide an outlet on your student’s terms, not yours. It’s important to balance the other demands on your child’s schedule and provide some outlet that excites him/her.
A “Big Sister” or mentor – A mentor doesn’t have to be from the school campus. In fact, better if it’s not. It can be the neighbor down the street who is a few years older – or someone from the business world, as we incorporate in our GWI programs, who can provide real-world guidance, but with an unbiased understanding that a parent or teacher can’t as easily.
Extra-curriculars that challenge and support – Just like most of us, our students often want the easy path. I’m a believer that confidence is built by doing tough things. And we see the results with over 90% of young women experiencing increased confidence after our Academy program.
Some extra-curriculars go further to provide a support community that can extend beyond high school – like GWI’s growing national alumni network.
Just today, I met with two parents and their daughters who attend local private schools. They were excited to be part of GWI’s national network. As one of them put it: “We have the network through our school, but this will give us a broader network to carry us into our careers.”
What are things to avoid? As I’ve watched my own teen, we’ve been mindful of the following:
Reduce the pressure to achieve – This is a topic that comes up frequently in my casual conversations with local parents and students. Consider putting your student in different socio-economic situations, avoiding language that demonstrates your own focus on achievement or perfection, and learning to accept that we’re all built differently and therefore, might progress differently. But that’s not to be confused with discipline that’s required to learn and advance academically, emotionally, and, ultimately, professionally.
Avoid being overly critical – At the same time, constantly flooding your student with praise creates an environment where they expect only praise. That’s one reason GWI has now incorporated feedback into our new Career Accelerator program – it’s essential for job success.
Focus on your students’ progress – rather than the ultimate grade – Not every student is an A student. I remember working exceptionally hard for that A in English and I had to accept that I just wasn’t the A student. Still, I went on to be a national spokesperson, financial commentator, and columnist for our nation’s leading publications – though not without some hard work. There are many stories here in Greenwich of the same.
Guide your student to take ownership of their progress – For example, understanding why a certain grade was garnered or working with the teacher to understand a concept that stumped them. One step that’s excited me personally was guiding my high schooler to meet with her teacher. Rather than simply saying: “Go meet with her and find out what you did wrong,” it was about understanding what she could have done differently while also building an important relationship.
Be open to alternative pathways – Finally, for those of you focused on Ivy League Schools, remember that the world has changed. Among the key trends: A host of colleges that might have been “beneath” some parents are now considered top schools. For example, the University of Miami – once considered more of a party school – is now tough to access.
Also, corporate America is now welcoming and backing “skills-based hiring” – recruiting those who did not pursue the traditional college degree but developed skills for specific roles – like coding or welding. Students can not only make a serious living but they can avoid the $30,000 average debt load.
A thriving community and economy demands that our young people are ready – with skills, confidence, and emotional strength. I’m proud that GWI is leading the way nationally to help make this happen for young women.
Jennifer Openshaw is Chairman and CEO of Greenwich-based Girls With Impact (GWI). GWI is the leading business prep program for young women 14-24, ensuring they have the confidence, skills, and network to succeed on Day 1 in the workplace. Programs offered year-round, tuition-free. Ask your school or visit www.girlswithimpact.org.