By Mark Pruner
Greenwich people love to compete. We have Olympians, NFL, NHL, and NBA players that live here and world class equestrian facilities. Our GHS swim teams are perennial state champions racing down our soon to be renovated pool. Our private schools have won multiple league and regional championships. The Tour de Greenwich is also one of the big biking events in the region, but until now one group has been left out.
Inspired by the Tour de Greenwich bike race, owners of exotics cars in Greenwich finally have a race of their own. A private group of high-performance automobile owners finally got the go ahead to show just what they and their cars can do. The inaugural Greenwich Grand Prix is scheduled for the July 4th weekend with three laps around Greenwich.
The race will be limited to Greenwich residents, but there should be no shortage of entries. Over the last two years, our Team has sold houses with 8- and 11-car garages. Given the multiplicity of cars each homeowner is limited to a max of two cars and the pit crews are limited to only family members. Cars have to be able to easily exceed 140 mph.
This race will have several innovative features right from the start. To prevent a bottle neck, each owner will use the soon to be famous Greenwich Start and start from their own driveway. Each driver will be able to see a countdown to the green flag on the GGP phone app. . This app will also let drivers and the public see who is in the lead.
The race will be three laps around Greenwich with each lap being a different course with the app guiding the racers. Laps will extend down into Belle Haven and Conyers Farm to pick up the exotic car owners starting from there. In another innovative feature, coverage of the race will be by doorbell cameras of which there are hundreds along the course. Bob Capazzo, however, be the official photographer of the Greenwich GP.
The route of each lap was extensively tested in the early morning hours between Christmas and New Year’s last year. This led to the ruling out of both Cat Rock and Cognewaugh Roads as the cars tended to get airborne on these windy hilly roads.
The tests on these roads also showed that if there was an accident with fire trucks and ambulances coming from opposite directions, these roads would be too narrow for the emergency vehicles to back up. As a result, one of the emergency vehicles, probably the ambulance, would have to be disassembled and carted away so the other vehicle could pass.
Testing also showed that the turn from Greenwich Ave to Arch St. could not be made at over 155 mph for most cars, so all speeds down the Avenue will be limited to 150 mph. Luckily, both the North St. and King St. portions are pedal to the metal.
Many groups are looking forward to the benefits of the GGP. Realtors see this as a way to show that Greenwich is not just about owners of horses and bikes, but also fast cars and ample garages. The BET is glad that only cars registered in Greenwich can enter the GGP. This rule has already resulted in several dozen new high-end car registrations, which has led to larger personal property tax collections.
It promises to be a phantasmagorical race on July 5th, 2025.
Greenwich in Existential Fight Over Name
Several politicians in Hartford, upset over the renaming of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, have gone to the Connecticut Naming and Locations Commission to express their displeasure and unfortunately have become fixated on the Town of Greenwich. These legislators are pushing to rename the Town of Greenwich to the City of West Stamford.
The legislators pointed out that that the original colonist had actually moved west from Stamford and hence West Stamford is more historically accurate. To further complicate matters, several politicians in Albany heard about the Hartford effort to rename Greenwich and want the Town to be renamed East Port Chester.
When interviewed, the oldest living resident in Greenwich said that he remembered as a kid back in 1905 that he was always excited when the then named East Port Chester Fire Department would roll out with their horse drawn fire engines to put out yet another kerosene lamp fire. He didn’t have a problem with the East Port Chester name.
To further complicate matters, some folks in Bedford, NY pointed out that during colonial times, Bedord had twice been part of Greenwich. They would be happy to rejoin Greenwich. When asked whether they would prefer to be part of West Stamford or of East Port Chester, they said they really didn’t care, they just wanted lower property taxes.
Plan to Solve Greenwich Avenue Problems Once and for All
Parking has been bad on Greenwich Avenue for decades, maybe even over a century from when it was first paved in 1900. Over the years, a variety of things have been tried to speed up traffic on Greenwich Avenue and provide sufficient parking. Parking meters were added in 1953, and it was made one-way south in 1970. None of this seemed to help for very long.
The Avenue is even busier. Today, finding a parking space on the Avenue can take several loops of the block. The further you go south on the Avenue, the worse it gets. Luckily, NYC just tested a solution that noticeably reduced traffic in lower Manhattan via exorbitant fees.
The New York candidate running for mayor of the newly renamed City of East Port Chester/West Stamford has proposed that parking fees start at $2/hr at the top of the Avenue and double for each block you go south. From Lewis St to Elm St. parking would be $4/hr and then $8/hr from Elm to Havemeyer Place. Below Havemeyer Place, parking per hour would be $16. On weekends, these rates would double. He says if this doesn’t free up parking nothing will.
There is, however, another Avenue scourge that arose this century: squatters. Squatters fall into two principal categories, food pick-ups and kid pick-ups. On any given trip down the Avenue, you can find two to four squatters, some of whom have even abandoned their cars to run into to the restaurant or store to make their pick-ups.
Large problems require large solutions, and the town has the solution on order. Inspired by the large garbage trucks that use arms in front to pick up commercial garbage bins and lift them over the cab to dump in the back, our DPW has come up with a brilliant solution, by simply adding a large scoop to these arms.
When implemented these trucks will be able to drive down Greenwich Avenue and simply scoop up these squatters’ cars. If there is a second squatter, the SUV Scooper can simply dump the first vehicle in the back and scoop up the second car.
The SUV Scooper then drives to the Island Beach lot and leaves the car off to be picked up by the driver later or if the driver was in the car when scooped, they can be on their way immediately.
These two new techniques are expected to clear up Avenue congestion better than Mucinex clears head congestion.
Honoring our Greenwich Presidents
Many people in town were disappointed when the statue of George H.W. Bush, a Greenwich native, was, turned down because it would block the WWI obelisk in front of Restoration Hardware. A second group pointed out that we have two residents that becam president; Donald Trump, and George H.W. Bush.
After much discussion between the two groups, they surprisingly came to an agreement that maybe two statues weren’t needed. The idea was to create something more like Mount Rushmore with just heads. The two groups once again surprisingly agreed that the perfect place was on Riversville Road on the huge rock on the west side of the Seton Boy Scout Camp.
At this point, several local Democrats pointed out that since they were now the majority party, that this memorial should include at least two Democrats. Much like the Greenwich Old Timers annual dinner, that honors both national and local Greenwich athletes, their thought was to honor two local Democrat first selectman in the center.
Given that this is to be privately funded on private property, work is to begin next Tuesday on April 1st with the two Democrats to be designated later.
I hope you enjoyed this third edition of my April 1st column. Thanks, Mark, mark.pruner@compass.com.
