By Anne W. Semmes
Andrew Niblock is the Director of Schoolwide Initiatives at Greenwich Country Day School (GCDS) and assistant coach for its boys varsity basketball team. He’s the father of two sons with a loving wife, who he has honored with the title of his new book, “The Art of Marrying Well.” The book is described as “a primer on how to live a meaningful, impactful life even with serious adversity.” Andrew was diagnosed with ALS, age 41, in July of 2016 [serving then as head of the GCDS Lower School].
“I have been a teacher for 26 years. I have been a husband for 22 years…a father for 16 years and I have been a reader and a writer for as long as I can remember. It is my lifelong fascination with words that led me to write a book with my eyes.” [It is his blinks that form the words that are delivered via a recorded voice as his words appear on a screen.] And this is how Andrew introduced himself to some 40 attendees of a book launch on October 5 at Dogwood Books – based as it is at his own and supportive Christ Church Greenwich.
Since being diagnosed, he continued. “I have persevered with the love and support of amazing friends and family along with heaping portions of hope and faith. My adventure has included cutting edge treatment and technology and a lot of learning. I have learned that my greatest joy still comes through my relationships, shared stories, conversations and hugs.”
“Hugs are the best over the past few years as I have had to type with my eyes to communicate,” Andrew continued. “Writing has become a trickier task. It is a daily frustration, but if I had not been forced to explore the world with these challenges and limitations through a different lens, I would not have written this book.”
Over the last seven years Andrew’s community of friends and supporters has continued to grow. Before Covid hit there were those backyard dinner parties held across town to raise funds to address Andrew’s growing financial needs that included host and GCDS parent Tia Mahaffy. “GCDS has been a huge supporter of Andrew and his family,” noted Mahaffy. “He was such a wonderful head of the Lower School and I think we were all instantly drawn to him. He’s a very athletic 6’3” guy, and he always wore bow ties. And he said, ‘Just so you know, the reason I always wear bow ties is because when you’re 6’3″ and you work in a Lower School, you end up bending over often and you can get your tie in lots of stuff.”
Andrew begins his book, “When you are forced to move more carefully and mindfully through the world, you notice things differently…Perspective is also about mindset. I have been blessed through upbringing and natural wiring to be hopeful…Hope is deeply rooted in your soul, and it can drive you forward.”
He describes his book as “a collection of poetry, essays and notes that are meant to kindle conversations, start questions and get you wondering. I think about food a lot and I think this book is good for snacking. It’s easily broken into bites, chewed slowly, and there is a good mix of sweet and savory.”
“Andrew’s book has a number of reoccurring themes that are important to him” said his friend Charles Rose at the book launch. “First and foremost, his love for family is closely followed by his love for Maine…Andrew and I met around the age of six or seven years old in a small summer community in Maine called Sorrento.” Rose would read one of his favorite poems from Andrew’s book – “Sunday Morning” that addresses those Maine years. “It still is as idyllic a setting,” said Rose, “as you can imagine on a peninsula with no through traffic and sweeping views of Frenchman’s Bay and Mount Desert Island, a perfect setting for kids to experience total freedom.”
“We spent our days sailing, riding bikes, playing tennis,” shared Rose, “Knowing that our only responsibility was to be back home around five o’clock for dinner…These were the days before TikTok on Sunday mornings. Most of the community would congregate at the Church of the Redeemer built in 1905 and reachable by a footpath along a short path through the woods…Andrew’s poem perfectly captures the magic and spirit of those summer Sundays.”
A question was posed to Andrew by Christ Church Rev. Cheryl McFadden: “You are a minister’s son. Do you see a connection between your faith and your creative process?”
“I learned a lot in church growing up,” said Andrew. “I am grateful for the Sundays spent in the pew with my brother listening to my father’s sermons and my mother’s music…My father knows that decades of his sermons mean I hold ministers and other folk who get up in front of a crowd to impossibly high standards. I include myself in that number. Having chosen a calling that affords me the opportunity to occasionally get on the proverbial soap box like tonight. I love talking to people. The opportunity to do so is a gift. Every time I get to share my thoughts with a gathered group, I’m trying to bring a little bit of my dad to the table.”
Another friend of Andrew’s, Jaimie Renfrew, stepped up to read one of her favorites of his book poems, “Ode to the Porch.” “So, from knowing the Niblocks,” she said, “I can see that the porch has been a focal point for Andrew’s many wonderful memories and his favorite places from Maine to New Orleans, to now in Greenwich….When I think of Andrew on those porches, I see him cooling off watching the world go by, I imagine him talking with friends and family, and I also imagine him alone listening to music or reading or just being in silence as his poem says, ‘The porch may be the most perfect of all rooms./Shelter from the rain, not from the gentle breeze./A place to gather with friends, or no one at all.’”
Maine is indeed central to Andrew’s life. “I was born on the coast of Maine,” he shared, “and I pull nourishment from the sounds, smells, and sights of that magnificent part of our country. It is where my family gathers, shares stories, and meals, laughs and cries no matter what.” And importantly, he added, “If you pick up a copy of the book, the real treat is the artwork. My mother is my favorite artist. Her artwork is alive in its color and movement. It’s as close as you get to being on the water when you are not actually there. And that is why we have done our best to wallpaper our home with her oils.”
And finally, that question had to be asked for all those attending, “What is the inspiration behind the ‘Art of Marrying Well?’”
“It’s self-explanatory. I married extraordinarily well. My wife Eliza is a remarkable person, a caring mother, and a generous friend. I won the lottery. This book is for her.”
