By Lee Longo
A Glimmer of Hope
I reflect back to several weeks ago of what our everyday life looked like. Many of us were on the hamster wheel in constant motion. Always on our phones, half listening to what we were supposed to hear, wanting instant gratification, sometimes unable to make quick adjustments or be flexible. Even in our dream state we may sometimes be tumbling over ideas in our minds, conversations, scenarios of our waking hours. We had a plan as to what we were going to be doing tomorrow in the spring, and summer and now it all seems to be on hold. With so much negative news swirling I can see a glimmer of something positive.
Being in the preschool setting daily, I can see how sometimes our plan is just not going to work on that particular day. In the Reggio Emilia philosophy, we must take the children’s lead. It is our constant and an ongoing part of our daily routine. As teachers we have to observe and then ask ourselves, what are the children saying about their behavior today? What do we see them gravitating toward? Are they in conversation or conflict with others? Do they want to be heard? Are they in thought trying to problem solve? Are they alone reading a book or drawing? In the classroom plans can never really be concrete they must always be adjusted. Now we find ourselves in this time of Covid-19 with no particular plans, we must adjust our lives to this situation.
Children can really teach us about our own behaviors most especially in this very difficult time if we just stop, listen, observe them and begin to self- reflect. Now that most children are home with their families I wonder if it may be the universe telling us to slow down. Perhaps our own children can be our teachers right now.
What do children really need to survive and thrive? Of course, we all know the basics, food, shelter and an education to name a few. But what we teach our children in the home truly shapes them. Children are not born with their family’s values; they do not know what their families are all about. This is something that they learn by our examples. Children make good choices by having family beliefs that help guide them. There are many studies on family relationships that show strong family relations play a central role in a child’s well-being across their lifetime.
When I reflect back to when my own children were small or in high school, in our house, we had a back staircase that came down into the middle of our kitchen. My children at times would sit one at a time on those steps as I was cooking. Sometimes I knew they needed to tell me something, and I would wait and listen. Sometimes I had to have difficult conversations with them, where they didn’t really want to hear what I had to say, and would storm back up the stairs. But I knew they were getting a clear understanding of what we as a family were about.
During this time and because of this situation although it can be one of the most challenging in our life time, it can also be one of the most beneficial for our families as we are forced to be together for entire days, weeks and perhaps months.
What children also need to survive and thrive is family time. Because we are home now, we can show them patience, we can show them empathy for others by teaching them we can help others in small ways. We can spend time really being engaged with them whether reading a book together, playing a game, watching a movie together or just talking and listening to them. We are showing them that sometimes we must be flexible and adaptable, life changes all the time and part of being able to adjust to change will benefit them their entire life. We can show by example that we are not being fearful we are being careful. Sitting with them curled up in your arms offers them assurance of their safety no matter the difficulty at hand.
Whether you have preschoolers that may be crying because they can’t do something or a high school child crying that you are ruining their life. What both children at these ages need is a safe space to be heard and an understanding of what their family is all about. For some reason we have been given this time to hunker down with our families and make some new memories, this is the glimmer of hope that Covid-19 has to offer.
