By Rev. Shannon White
No doubt, you’ve heard the slogan, “Let go and Let God.” It may seem extremely trite, especially if you’re in the middle of a life situation which calls for such an attitude and action. Those words, however simplistic as they may seem, may offer a profound lesson, and can lead to an experience of deep inner peace. I can relate. Let me explain.
On August 27, I said good-bye to my daughter as she embarked on an adventure with the Peace Corps for the next 27 months. She has been assigned to Namibia on the western coast of Africa just north of South Africa. I have traveled to many countries, but I have not (yet) been to the continent of Africa. I have no idea, nor did she before she departed, what her living situation will be like. She has been told that she could either be living in a hut or an apartment. She knows she will be teaching in a secondary school situation and teaching life skills, gender equality and HIV education to students ages 9-24. This experience will, no doubt, change her and the trajectory of her life, as she encounters a new culture, meets new people and welcomes them into her life. I couldn’t be prouder of her vision and service.
Here’s where the “Let go and Let God” begins to rub. As she settles in and begins her 3-month orientation, she and the others in her cohort are not permitted to contact family back home, for a variety of reasons. For me, the deafening silence of the separation has already come as a rude awakening. She has been living with my husband and me since her graduation from college in 2021, and the rhythms of our household have been sweetened by her presence. Letting go of her in such an abrupt manner so that she may pursue her own path and future apart from me and the rest of our family is an excruciating but necessary part of life.
Perhaps those who have just dropped children off at various college campuses or said good-bye to children getting on the school bus for the first time, or who have just ushered young adult children off to their professional lives may feel this same familiar pang of loss. Those losses are nothing, however, to the even more difficult and more permanent saying good-bye when a loved one is lost to death. That topic deserves a different, dedicated article.
We all experience loss in our lives. The pain is oh-so-human. It’s necessary to take time to feel the depth of it, or it can become what mental health clinicians call, “complicated grief,” where another instance of grief is experienced before a previous experience has been fully processed. In such a situation, one can get stuck, in a way, in the grief cycle.
Loss can also include the fear of the unknown wrapped in nagging questions such as: Will my child be ok, or will they face some sort of danger (such as a lockdown at school or college)? Will I/they know what to do? In such a state, how could anyone live in peace?
So, how does one embody letting go in a healthy way…and what does “Let God” even mean? While I have surely shed some tears, I am letting her go, knowing she has her own spiritual journey, and that God, who has loved me and will continue to love and watch over me for a lifetime, loves and watches over her as well. The scriptures are full of examples, both in the Hebrew Bible and in the New Testament of people who have been cared for through harrowing situations. I think of Abraham and Sarah, who were called away from everything they knew to be familiar and to start a new life. I think of the Children of Israel, who were led into the wilderness for 40 years before reaching the promised land. I think of Jesus asking the disciples to leave everything they knew and follow him. All of those stories give me examples of stories where people in the care of God have not only survived, but thrived, even through enormous difficulty. That same story of faithfulness has been lived out in countless people across faith lines through the ages. It’s not that people haven’t/don’t face peril in their lives, but through the good times and the difficulties, God was/is with them, loving them, having compassion on them and helping them grow. And so, it is with us. Even today and into the future, God is with us through all things, loving us, comforting us, having compassion on us and helping us to grow. That’s something I can hold onto.
I am reminded that any control we as human beings think we have in life, is all an illusion. Trying to control people, places, things or outcomes can only bring frustration, disappointment and pain to our lives. Feeling the important feelings of loss and then letting people and situations go, allowing the space they once occupied to be opened to God’s life-giving source of love and light, can bring hope for a whole lot of blessings both now and the future. That is how true and lasting inner peace is possible.
A wise congregant wrote me a loving email right after my daughter left on her new adventure. She said, “Letting go has to be the most self-sacrificing gift a Mother can bestow. Gut wrenching, heart wrenching, but with a secure belief in child AND God. You will be fine, but right now, it is probably all a puddle.”
How right she is.
Next summer I will go to Namibia and visit my daughter, meet her wonderful Namibian hosts and marvel at the gifts her new experiences have brought her and will continue to bring her.
Ah~serendipity. I’m smiling. Just as I put the finishing touches on this article, I got a text from my daughter, “Made it to Namibia!” And so it begins.
The Rev. Shannon White is the Pastor for Spiritual Development at Round Hill Community Church.
