By Anne W. Semmes
There’s a new family in Greenwich that has traveled far and under great duress but have found safety and solace in our town. Introducing Afghan father Nayan, and his daughters Tina, 13, Asna, 9, Kisa, 6, Leera, 3, and wife Yira very near giving birth to their fifth child. Nayan and his family were part of 73,000 evacuees brought to various U.S. military bases after the Taliban’s brutal takeover of Afghanistan in August of last year.
This family had the fortune to have relatives already headed to Greenwich who requested they be brought from their military base Fort Dix in New Jersey to Greenwich to join Nayan’s sister in-law, Jahara, her husband Marmon, and their 13-year-old son, Dhavid. As of early January, they are now all under the same roof. But it was Nayan’s family we visited with.
[Note that we are not using Nayan and family’s true names, as Nayan, having been employed by the U.S. Government in Afghanistan, would otherwise jeopardize his remaining Afghanistan family. And we were helped by another evacuee Khalil, based with his family in New Rochelle, who did the interpreting from Nayan’s Pashto language.]
Nayan had earlier picked up his daughters now in public school after working in his part time job in a local restaurant. What is paramount for Nayan he says is to “have a driver’s license. Having a car means that you have legs, and you have hands. Without that you are like handicapped.” But that license may be months or even a year in the offing he tells. In Afghanistan, he drove a Toyota, “a 2010 model.”
So, how are his kids adapting to school? “They are learning new things. They are just starting to learn the language…they are adapting to the environment, the society here.” We spot a pair of colorful bicycles perched nearby that were donated to his children by volunteers.
With his oldest daughter Tina now in sixth grade, he addresses her schooling experience in Afghanistan. “The schools are not good. There is no good discipline, no good teachers. Because of that, in 2019 she left school and she just had to study some religious books.” And now in her public school, “She’s learning new things in a good way. The education system is better than there.” And now in Afghanistan, he adds, “There is no school for girls after sixth grade.”
So, what was his work in Afghanistan? “Working with Americans in a workshop as a mechanic,” work he would also like to find here. But that job had segued into working with the U.S. Embassy his last six-plus years in Afghanistan. “We were a special force armed unit.” He notes, “Those units who were working directly under the US Embassy the Taliban will never forgive them. There is no amnesty for Nayan.”
So, how does it feel now living here? “We are feeling safe here. When we were in Afghanistan, we were afraid of explosions. We were afraid of shooting, killing, but we feel secure here. Good security, good environment, the facilities. There are good things that we are enjoying here.”
One of those good things – Nayan and his family are receiving health care. “That’s all new here,” he tells. “Like medical insurance” that does not exist in Afghanistan. “We had to use our own money from our pocket.” When he was on active duty,” he tells, “If something was happening to me like a fever or any kind of pain or sickness, I was taken care of by the American Embassy, but not for our kids.”
We’re interrupted by an Afghan tea, served by Nayan’s entrancing young daughters. An array of appetizing Afghan edibles are presented that include raisins and crisp, spicey brown berries popular in Afghanistan and available at an Indian store in Norwalk we’re told.
Nayan’s work at a restaurant has familiarized him with local cuisine. “Because we spent almost four months in one of the bases here in the States,” he reminds,” We start to be familiar with the American food now. We eat them and now it’s okay.” And surely there is a relief to not be amongst the millions facing starvation in his home country.
Present at tea is Rachel Kornfeld, CEO of Jewish Family Services (JFS), the organization that has overseen the placement, care and servicing of not only Nayan’s extended family, but one other Greenwich family, and four others in Stamford. Under the JFS umbrella volunteers from newly formed Rising Hope and Tree of Life are transporting these families to that Indian food store in Norwalk, to their medical care offered by the Family Centers, and to the Stamford Mosque they visit.
Kornfeld is experiencing Khalil’s interpreting for the first time, while she is also captivated by Nayan’s daughters. “I can tell,” she shares, “that everybody at JFS, they only want to come here to see the girls.”
So, with Nayan’s fifth child about to make his or her debut [The mother is upstairs resting.], the question is asked, “How often are Afghans having a big family like that?” Turns out Nayan is one of 12, and Khalil one of 10 and has fathered five children as well. Khalil has witnessed such a question being asked of an Afghan before with this answer: “he said because there was a war in Afghanistan, there was no job, just sitting home, sleeping, and just producing kids. That’s the only job that people have to do.”
Nayan’s mother back in Afghanistan he says, with a smile, has “stopped delivering.” At 75 she has a heart ailment. Fortunately, he is able to call to check on her. He adds, “There are many people now jobless, but we call them by phone once or twice a week to see what’s going on – if everything is okay.”
In our interview Nayan relied on interpreter Khalil but he says he’s picking up words in his work. He tells of “a lady coming here – she teaches language to our kids, to our wives. And we go to English language classes. It is not easy for us to learn English in a short period of time but for the kids, they will learn faster than us. But we have to learn language, then we can interact with the people.”
So, it was wrap up time. “Thank you Nayan,” says Kornfeld, “for telling us your story.” She adds, “This is just the beginning of the story. It’s been hard but it’s getting better.” “This is just Part One,” says this reporter. Nayan responds, he’s waiting for “the second part.”
