By Adam Rohdie
Prior to arriving in Greenwich in 2004 to take the helm at Greenwich Country Day School, I had the opportunity to work under a variety of leadership styles. As I was contemplating the type of leader I wanted to be, there was one attribute that was non-negotiable for me. The most effective leaders I have worked for or studied, the ones that are highly respected, trusted, and effective have one thing in common. Those that were far less successful were lacking in this attribute, or at least it was not apparent in their leadership style. That characteristic is kindness.
Kind leaders are not only more respected and admired, but they also create more productive and engaged teams. I am not talking about being soft or weak. It’s about treating others with respect, empathy, and compassion. It’s about creating a culture where everyone feels valued and supported. Leading with kindness is not just the right thing to do, it’s also a smart organizational strategy. It creates a workplace where employees thrive, teams excel, and the organization as a whole achieves greater success.
“In a world where you can be anything, be kind.”
This mantra is painted on the walls in our Upper Elementary School. While short as a sentence, its power is profound. As I look around the world, I see kindness disappearing. A recent Greenwich Time article just detailed that 700 people have quit refereeing basketball in Connecticut because of the abuse they receive from coaches and fans. Politicians use vile name calling as an accepted tactic. Planes crash to the ground, wildfires rage and rather than showing compassion and kindness, leaders lash out at anyone and everyone to place blame and spread vitriol. Social media provides a platform for teens to be incredibly mean-spirited and do it in a way that is almost anonymous. News feeds are quick to share when a celebrity says something cruel about another and very rarely do we get to see stories that shine a light on behavior that is kind.
I am not advocating for a world where everyone holds hands and sings kumbaya (although there would be something nice about that), rather I think disagreement has to be handled in a different way. The idea that the world is a binary and people are either friend or enemy is misguided. I teach a junior/senior elective in our Upper School titled Great American Debates. We start each semester with an exploration of Hobbes and Rousseau and I ask our students to decide whether we live in a selfish, self-centered world, where left to our own devices life would be “short, nasty, and brutish” (Hobbes). Or do we live in a world where humans are essentially good and it is society itself that actually corrupts them (Rousseau). In his book Humankind (which our students engage with), Rutger Bregman argues that we live in a world where 97% of people believe in the Hobbesian approach to human behavior. That is, that humans are essentially selfish and not kind. Bregman argues that novels like Lord of the Flies further engrain this belief in our minds.
Yet, in the real world—and in a real life lord-of-the-flies event where a group of prep school boys got stranded on a deserted island—humans act in caring and supportive ways. The boys in this real life story were stranded on the island of Ata. In an alternate outcome from the novel, the boys cared for one another, acted in a way that put their community ahead of their individual needs, and showed real kindness to each other. They did not, as William Golding portrayed in his fictional novel, beat each other to death.
February is a cold and dark month. It is easy to act like Puxatawnee Phil and run back into our den to hide for another six weeks. Instead, perhaps now more than ever, is the time to break out of the winter doldrums and show even the smallest act of kindness. So, whether you are the leader of an organization, or a member of a team, or a family, or a group of friends, help rewrite the narrative as inspiring role models for each other and our children. Let’s remember the golden rule and treat others the way we would like to be treated—with kindness.
Adam Rohdie is the Head of School at Greenwich Country Day School.
