By Stuart Adelberg
You probably don’t know this, but I am a very popular guy. I have tons of very famous friends who send me dozens of emails and text messages almost every day. It’s true. If you looked at my inboxes, you would undoubtedly be incredibly impressed by the names of the people who regularly correspond with me. The odd thing is that they are all notable and successful people, but for some reason, they all need money. Lots of it. And they all think that modest, middle class me is the answer!
I have been offered opportunities to dine with some of the world’s greatest thinkers or travel to different parts of the country for a chance to be on stage with some of our most accomplished world leaders. I am apparently the only one who can help these famous folks to achieve their goals, but time is of the essence! I must respond within hours or I will miss the deadline to save the world. My response will be a signal to the rest of the world that I and I alone am with them. And, of course, they will never ask me to do this again.
A few months ago I was nobody special – just a poor schnook! My inboxes were a sad mix of advertisements for products that promised to solve the many disgusting diseases plaguing my aging body that I didn’t even know I had. But now – no one seems to care anymore about my hair loss, fatigue, or the condition of my dysfunctional internal organs as long as I have a valid credit card and can respond within the next twenty-four hours!
I don’t know if this is all connected to the recent election, but if memory serves me, that seems to have been the trigger for my newfound popularity. Though I generally have opted to stay out of politics, I decided this year to make my first contribution to a campaign. This was not a major commitment, just a small donation. Well. . . You would have thought that I was the Publisher’s Clearinghouse!!
One donation, in an amount less than a nice dinner in a local restaurant, apparently caught the attention of past presidents, senators and representatives, famous actors, athletes, singers, you name it!! It seems like those professions are not quite as lucrative as I was always led to believe since they all thought that my small contribution was worthy of their non-stop communications! In addition to the messages from the above notables, I am also hearing from people running for office in places I never heard of. Apparently the folks in other states don’t have enough money to support their local candidates, so little me, in little Connecticut, needed to help!
The day after the recent election, after all of the votes were counted and we knew the results, I assumed that all my new friends would drop me like a hot potato. But no! The need for me to stand with all of these folks continues and I have the crowded inbox to prove it. It is nice to know that these sincere celebrities will continue being my pen pals even after there are no votes at stake. Maybe I will start writing back and asking them to consider contributing to the many local charities I support. After all, it is time to reciprocate. The election is over, and perhaps all of those funds they raised might finally be used to make a meaningful difference!
Stuart Adelberg has a long history of active involvement and leadership in the region’s non profit arts and human services communities. He appreciate the opportunity provided by Greenwich Sentinel to share his occasional thoughts and observations.
