By Stuart Adelberg
Last week, I was driving on Route 1 with my wife, Marilyn. “Driving” when it comes to Route 1 is a generous term – let’s just say we were in the car, and we weren’t standing still – so it wasn’t a bad day. . . yet. Suddenly some guy from the left lane cuts in front of me to make a right turn onto the street we were just about to pass – causing me to slam on my brakes and use some not very friendly words. Marilyn looked at me with derision and said, “You’re becoming a cranky old man!” Now I take exception to being called an “old man.” But cranky? I can live with that!
The truth is that we care a lot more about things around us as we begin to age. We like plans and we expect things to go a certain way. We respect rules and conventions that reasonable people abide by. We fear that without them – we have chaos. And there are not many things that get us crankier than chaos!! You know – like when some idiot decides to move into your traffic lane without warning!
Remember when we just let life happen, didn’t pay much attention to anything, and took everything in stride? If you have children or grandchildren, you know what I mean. Ask an eighteen-year-old what they did that day, and the answer is almost always, “Nothing.” See anyone special? “Nope.” What are you planning to do tomorrow? “Whatever!” You won’t get answers like that out of anyone over the age of forty!
I remember, back in the dark ages, when I could go to the supermarket, walk through the aisles, and buy whatever looked interesting. It was adventurous to come home with something unexpected. And if I forgot to get something we actually needed, we’ll just get it next week! Today, we have a list, laid out in the order of the supermarket aisles. If I come home with something that isn’t on the list – what was I thinking?? And if I forget to get something on the list, obviously I can’t be trusted with the simplest of tasks or I must have forgotten how to read!!! Cranky!
Marilyn and I just celebrated our 32nd anniversary. Over the years, we have developed customs that make life as a long-time married couple blissful and comfortable. Blissful and comfortable, but never boring. One of these customs is going out for dinner on Friday nights. This has become our casual way of ending a busy week and sliding into the weekend. In the early years of marriage, we would just get in the car or walk down the street to a local restaurant. You know, “whatever!” But apparently when you get a little older, “whatever” is open to interpretation.
This is how our current typical Friday nights go. What do you want for dinner? Whatever. Ok, let’s get sushi. You know I don’t like sushi. You liked it a month ago, but OK, how about Italian? Did you forget, we had Italian last week? Great, how about that new place? I didn’t hear very good things about it. OK, so what do you want? I said whatever. . . I’m happy with whatever you decide! But you weren’t happy with any of my suggestions! Let’s just get whatever!! We’ve been together for more than 1,600 Fridays but every week we expect this conversation to end differently.
Evidently, it isn’t my age that’s making me cranky. It’s the fact that after all these years, we can’t find one restaurant that serves a good “whatever!”
Stuart Adelberg has had a long history of leadership and involvement in the nonprofit arts and human services communities throughout Fairfield County. Never known to be shy with his opinions, he loves having the opportunity through the Greenwich Sentinel to share his thoughts!
