By Adam Rohdie
It’s graduation season! Students are “graduating” from every grade—Kindergarten through high school. What happens next? Many of our high school graduates will be heading off to college or career, away from home. In a similar vein, in just a few short days, thousands of these “graduates” will head off to summer sleep-away camp. For those in the 8-10 year-old range who are heading off for their first summer away from home, this can be a scary and even overwhelming experience. As parents, we know what an amazingly joyful experience summer camp can be, but we also get that pit in our stomach watching our daughters and sons board a bus for Maine or the Adirondacks. Likewise, as they get ready to leave for the next phase of life after high school, we feel similar pangs of joy and anxiousness.
As a summer camper for over 8 years and then a counselor at summer camp for another decade, I can’t think about those eight weeks without smiling. Those times remain a defining experience in my life and helped to shape the person I am today. I still see my “camp friends” who I now have known for well over 45 years. But as this summer approaches, I am reminded as a schoolteacher of the powerful lessons taught to those children lucky enough to take part.
I wonder if there is any sanctuary in the world of a 13-year-old that is totally and completely technology free for almost two months? If I were marketing a sleep away camp today, that might be my opening line. In addition to that amazing benefit of summer camp, comes the independence and the growth that happens when children are away from their parents. The necessities of taking care of their own stuff, remembering to bathe, making friends without being set up on a playdate, or solving problems without mom or dad provide invaluable lessons. The value of that is hard to calculate, but it certainly begins to prepare them for being away from home after graduating high school.
In his book Homesick and Happy, Psychologist Michael Thompson says, “Camp is a multigenerational community, with meaningful daily rituals like group meals and cabin clean-up, and a place where time simply slows down. In the buggy woods, icy swims, campfire sing-alongs, and daring adventures, children have emotionally significant and character-building experiences. They often grow in ways that surprise even themselves.”
Those first few days (especially those first few nights) at camp—or away from home at any age—can lead to some homesickness and this is natural. When we resist the urge to bail out our children, especially after that first tear-soaked, heartbreaking letter arrives home, we help our children cultivate grit and resilience. And if you can stay strong, you will find that by day five or six, the tone of the letters start to change and by day fifteen, your kids are begging to stay for that one extra week you did not sign up for.
As this school year comes to a close and the summer is upon us, if your child is not yet a summer camper, I hope that they at least find some time to play in the woods, to be out until dark with very little supervision, and to take that first unaccompanied bike ride into town. It can be hard for us as parents, but allowing some degree of age appropriate autonomy into the lives of our children will ultimately make them stronger adults—ready for that next chapter.
Adam C. Rohdie is the Head of School for Greenwich Country Day School, the only co-educational, Nursery-Grade 12, college preparatory day school in Greenwich.
