Turn on the television, tune into any of the national news channels, sit back and be prepared to be assaulted by a continuous stream of uncivil discourse. It is not just politics, although it is readily apparent there at the moment. Our standards for debate and even some discussions have lowered to a crass he said-she said without the opportunity of moving the discussion or debate forward.
President George Washington once said, “Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.” When did it become the norm that in order to build someone up, we have to knock someone down? We have even seen it here at the Sentinel in the form letters to the editor that we have chosen not to run because they attacked a person and did not further the discussion.
We do not look at the world or our community through rose-colored glasses. We recognize that disagreement is natural, and indeed vital to the health of a community and nation. However, you can have debate without rancor and vitriol. You can allow for differing opinions to be aired without concern that someone will try to knock you down because of it. You can respect the messenger while disagreeing with message.
Indeed, we have witnessed this in Hartford recently. In a rare display of bipartisanship, Republicans and Democrats came together to vote overwhelmingly in support of temporarily suspending the state gas tax. This was the $.25 per gallon the state collects. The gas tax holiday is in effect until June 1.
Award winning author and professor Pier Massimo Forni has written extensively on civility. He writes “Civility means a great deal more than just being nice to one another. It is complex, encompasses learning how to connect successfully and live well with others, while developing thoughtfulness and fostering effective self-expression and communication. Civility includes courtesy, politeness, mutual respect, fairness, good manners, as well as a matter of good health.” He is right, of course. The word “civil” actually comes from the Latin word “civilis” meaning citizen.
Fast forward to modern times. In 1981, President Reagan was in a fierce battle over the federal budget with Speaker of the House Tip O’Neill. The democratic-controlled House did not agree with the President. The debate was heated, contentious, and hard fought, but it was respectful. Reagan famously said “After 6:00 p.m. we are all friends,” and he meant it. He and the Speaker would often share a cocktail at the end of the day, putting partisanship away until the next debate.
We are missing that type of civil discourse desperately. There seems to be a prevailing attitude of “if they go low, we go lower” regardless of which side of a discussion or debate you are on. This is never a good idea. It is most prevalent in Washington but seems to be emerging more and more in Hartford and even here in Greenwich. What happened to taking the high road?
What can we do about this issue here in Greenwich? Well, for starters we can treat others with respect, even if we do not agree with them. We can be a little more patient, even when the car in front of you is slow to move through the green light. We can smile and say hello. It is little steps that can help us return to civility.
English writer Samuel Johnson said back in the 1700’s, “When once the forms of civility are violated, there remains little hope of return to kindness and decency.” We hope he is wrong, and that we can turn the current uncivil discourse around for the sake of our nation and our community. Being civil costs us nothing. Take the high road, the view is much better.
