Column: Loving our Holy Family

Kate Noonan

By Kate Noonan

We are all part of a family. Our family encompasses most of our first experiences in life. In the small intimate setting with our parents and siblings we take our first steps, speak our first words and have our first tantrums. Early in our lives our entire world is experienced with our family unit. Our homes are our first church giving us the blueprint for how we ought to act. As children we are each taught, through the examples and directives we receive at home, how to behave in the world.Reminding parents they are the first church for their family is a great joy and privilege of mine. In the busyness and striving of parenting we are often swept up focusing on our children’s milestones, doctor’s appointments and school placements. We get caught up in the ways of the world. When our focus is on the external we may be remiss to remember the true qualities that make us Christian. In our homes we are called to love, honor, cooperate and be patient with one another. Each of our families are a reflection of the Holy Family who were mired in the tasks of daily life and literally living a God filled life.As I contemplate the Holy Family, my thoughts turn to Joseph and his role in the Holy Family. We know Mary said yes. I am often reminded of her blessed willingness in my Catholic faith tradition. Joseph’s yes has a more subtle quality than Mary’s yes. He is a man who remained dedicated to his commitment even with its challenges. I imagine being the father in the Holy Family household may have been fraught with personal, emotional and spiritual challenges.When I was 12 my mother married my step-father, Henry. Middle schoolers do not tend to be understanding and open minded creatures. I was no exception. I was offended at the addition of a step-father in my life. What my 12 year old self did not know is we needed my step-father, a lot. Henry joined our family and participated in extraordinary ways. Reflecting on Henry’s willingness and graciousness today I am brought to tears. He readily and enthusiastically cared for my mother, my brother, my sister and myself. Henry signed on for a new wife and three step-children, ages 12, 10 and 9. Henry’s journey must have been fraught with personal, emotional and spiritual challenges.Today Henry is the primary caregiver for my mother in her final days. It is jarring to prepare for the loss of a beloved family member. My siblings, we are 4 in total now, and I are all feeling the impending pain of separation as we accompany both Henry and our mother in her final weeks. Henry continues to lead our family as husband and father, without pride. Henry’s kindness, compassion and dedication remain a blessing to our family. He is an inspiration.In Paul’s letter to the Colossians he reminds us to put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another. The call to practice these qualities is timeless; families from millenia ago and today’s families occasionally need the reminder of these Christian principles. We can all use Grace to be the best version of ourselves both in our homes and out in the world. With the gift of Grace and the examples of our family we can be the Church in the world loving our holy family near and far.Kate NoonanPastoral Associate ~ St. Ignatius Loyola NYCSpiritual director ~ Greenwich, CTMAR Yale Divinity School

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