By: Stephanie Fox
It was Month 2 of complete social isolation – for most. For me, I’d already been on a secluded maternity leave since Thanksgiving 2019. The only souls I’d seen in the past six days, not including morning Zooms with my first grade class, were my husband and five-month-old. The walls of our tiny one bedroom apartment seemed to be closing in.
When did a baby come with so much stuff? From the unopened pacifier wipes, to the baby laundry detergent – it just kept multiplying. I either had to get out of the apartment, or get some of the apartment out. I moved quickly and piled clothes, toys, accessories and more on the kitchen table. I snapped some photos, took a breath, and offered these goods that were once so necessary, completely for free in a local Facebook mom’s group. Then, I took a much needed nap.
I woke up an hour (or two?) later to a screen of Facebook alerts from moms making claims to my offerings. Within an hour, everything was packed, labeled in bags, and sitting in the lobby of my building, waiting to be picked up and brought to a new home.
I couldn’t believe how easy it was, and more importantly how good it felt. These possessions not only cluttered my family’s space, but they took up time and energy that could have been spent on more worthwhile tasks. Organizing, cleaning, fitting them into our small apartment was draining. Assembling the once vital bassinets and baby swings (many of which baby hated) sucked up time and caused unnecessary bickering between me and my husband. Once baby arrived, he spent months indoors in zip up onesies and swaddle blankets. He could care less about a wipe warmer. I also began to realize how little he/we actually needed.
The purging escalated as we prepared to move to our new home in Greenwich. Moving company prices surged due to the pandemic, so the Facebook giving continued. I posted small pieces of furniture, kitchenware and even a bed frame that was beautiful, but too clunky and expensive to move. Giving away what we no longer needed was therapeutic. I felt physically liberated and mentally cleansed. For those who took my stuff, a need was met. There was value in re-using something that would have otherwise sat in our new garage, or be put into the trash. I met very few receivers face to face. Yet, we were able to forge a connection, which is what so many of us craved during this time of isolation.
I joined Greenwich Facebook groups when we got into town, again looking to connect to others. It was hard to get involved in a community during a time when we were supposed to be staying away from each other. So, I hung out with my baby and my virtual students, and pieced together our new home. I soon found that furniture from the apartment didn’t always work in this house, and that my infant was now almost a toddler and had no use for some of his stuff. My apartment purge led me to see that we as a family needed less. My mindset had shifted. Maybe others could be enlightened, too.
Alas, Pay it Forward – Greenwich (The Facebook Group) was born. I hastily threw it together and invited the few people I knew in town. I shared the group on other Greenwich pages. With my fellow admins, Gill Ingraham, Lou Orlando, Kristen Rice and Barrie Silverman, it grew. Then it grew some more. I gave away more baby stuff. Household stuff. Other members started to post. We began to prove that anyone can Pay it Forward, by just asking before buying or offering before trashing.
Soon, we were at over 1,400 members in a little over two months, and the giving got bigger, and the community connections grew along with it. Baby clothes were passed from family to family; school shoe drives received over 300 pairs of donations; a teacher on family leave offered zoom tutoring sessions; a clothing drive gathered hundreds of items for domestic violence safe houses; thank you notes were written to essential workers. The group receives countless anonymous post requests from members in need who reached out to their community for help to make the holidays a little brighter for their families… and who knows what other acts of kindness will be there by the time this is published.
What started as a way to help me declutter during the long days of lonely stir craziness, has grown into a virtual connection of members of my community focused on giving. For me, I don’t feel as alone anymore. Do these virtual connections replace a “Mommy and Me” toddler class? No. I am still unable to be with my community in person. But for now, posting about my latest Calico Critter giveaway or group chatting about the Coffee, Cards & Kindness Drive will do just fine.
