By: Darla Steiner
Caring For Children During The Pandemic
Suddenly, and without much warning, life has changed drastically for us all. New vocabulary never used before, such as social distancing and flattening the curve, has all at once become part of our daily lexicon. Disoriented and uncertain of what to do next, we have only just begun to set sail over this uncharted territory, without the aid of a map, and without a clear destination. We have left our home port under the terms of travel confinements that implore us to “stay home”. Yet, our home lives have been irrevocably changed. Indeed, these are confusing, stressful times for us all, and we are at sea.
Many families have found themselves struggling to care for children who only recently, and unanticipatedly, have become full time stay-at-home children due to school and daycare program closures. Along with this drastic change of the loss of the daily school and childcare routines, families are also attempting to help their children navigate feelings of stress, anxiety, and grief over the loss of what was familiar and precious to them. Of course, the adults, too, are experiencing many of these same feelings. Children are very sensitive to the emotional vibes coming from the adults in their lives, often taking on that negative energy for themselves and expressing it the only way they know how, through behaviors that can be challenging, regressive, or concerning. During this pandemic, these feelings of worry, unease, and disquiet are completely understandable, in fact, inevitable, for all of us, no matter what our age. We need to allow our children, and ourselves, these feelings of fear and sadness. We must also grant them, and ourselves, hope.
One essential way to ease stress in the home is to establish a regular daily routine so children know what to expect. Set regular meal and snack times, as well as waking, nap, bed, and bath times. Develop routines associated with each of these activities that incorporate children’s help, such as having them set an alarm to wake up, picking out clothes to wear (try not to wear pajamas all the time – a change of clothes can instantly make for a change of attitude), making the bed, setting and clearing the table for meals, putting away toys, choosing a bedtime story, brushing teeth before bed, and so on. Allow children time, as well as designated space and materials, to engage with any at-home learning activities being sent by their teachers. With so many of us now relying on technology to stay connected, conduct work, and find opportunities for learning and entertainment, it is also very important to limit screen time. There is so much information, startling statistics, disturbing images, and messages of doom, that it is toxic to our psyches. As an antidote, turn off all the devices and schedule time to get outside and soak up the benefits of nature (while still practicing social distancing, of course). It’s spring after all, and there are hope-filled signs of beauty all around to ease our fretful minds. Finally, make time in the daily routine for unstructured, imaginative play. Children accommodate much of what they have learned and are feeling through play, and it is important that they have daily opportunities to simply explore and create in their own way. They may invite adults to play along, and that is absolutely fine, yet allow them to take the lead on how the play will progress. You may be surprised by what their play tells you about their state of mind.
In addition to maintaining regular at-home family routines, another way we can care for and support children is by prioritizing our own self-care. Since children are so in tune with the emotional environment in the home, it is imperative that we adults do what we can to nourish ourselves so that we can better support our children. Make some time each day to support your own wellbeing. There are a number of ways you can do that. As already mentioned, getting regular healthy doses of nature is important, and you might pursue that in solitude, especially if you need a break from all that family togetherness. Time for quiet reflection is the goal, so practicing meditation, even for as little as 10 minutes a day, can be very beneficial. It is perfectly acceptable to let your family members know if you are feeling low and need some down time. You will be setting an example that they may be inspired to follow, which will only enhance their own wellbeing, because you will be demonstrating healthy ways to manage negative feelings. Further, get some exercise. You don’t need an at-home gym. You can do some free online yoga and workouts, or even just dance to your favorite tunes in your living room. Eat healthy foods and limit sweets, knowing that our diets contribute greatly to our moods, as well as our overall health.
Engage with a hobby or household project. Take some time to learn about a topic that has always intrigued you. Read or listen to an audiobook. Connect online with family and friends. Do an act of kindness and help someone out who is in need. Write an actual letter to someone. Be the hope that the world so desperately needs right now. The act of self-care is, in and of itself, a message of hope for better times to come.
While we are still in the midst of this pandemic with no clear end in sight or tangible outcomes we can prepare for, it is easy to fall prey to feelings of despair and disquiet. We have real concerns about the lasting effects that the current circumstances will have on our families and on our children. We have fears that our children will fall behind or regress in their learning and development as a result of these stressors. We can take heart, however, in the knowledge that this will be a global common experience for this generation, and we are all in this together. With our help, support, and example, our children will be acquiring the life skill of resilience, which will undoubtedly be most essential for when our ships come to land on the new norm, no matter when that will be and whatever that may look like.
Take good care and be well.
