Editorial: Be Nice! (Please)

My wife and I were surprised recently when one of Greenwich’s longstanding community leaders told us she felt Greenwich was not as “nice” as it once had been. She was not referring to the aesthetics of our town; we obviously have a very beautiful town. It was more of a conscious feeling she had. It made us think, and we told each other we would pay specific attention over a few days. Over the course of those days, we noticed that she had a point: drivers seemed to be overly anxious, honking and impatient behind the wheel; pedestrians on Greenwich Avenue appeared more intent on reaching their destination than holding the door for the person behind them; fewer people were saying “hello” and “thank you.” It was as if someone had dialed the “nice knob” back a few notches for the benefit of expediency.

The current state of political and civil unrest in our country is creating a sense of uncertainty that affects us here in town. We cannot recall a presidential tenure so filled with vitriol and anger. It is unsettling. Neither frontrunner from the Democrats or Republicans has demonstrated the capacity to unite our country. Instead of raising the debate, politicians are lowering it, and we are inundated with the negativity on a daily basis. The state of our state has declined this year. There is a looming deficit that will require significant state employee layoffs and reductions in state services. These have already started to affect our community. Just look at Greenwich Hospital and Kids in Crisis.  Even here in town, there is concern and confusion over the Assessor’s Office and the handling of property taxes. All of this is stressful and makes us feel uncertain about what the future holds.

It is because of that stress and uncertainty that we should all make an effort to be a little nicer. Being nice takes practice.  Will Rogers said, “Most men are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Being nice is the same. For some, it’s an effort. They may feel that in the middle of a busy, stressful day, saying hello to someone they do not know will not make a difference, but they are wrong. We challenge you to say “hello” to someone you pass on the street as you are running your errands. Watch their faces.  See if you can detect a smile and then notice how that makes you feel. Being nice makes you feel good. Literally.

According to Psychology Today, being nice and doing nice things for others boosts your serotonin level.  Serotonin is the neurotransmitter that gives us the feeling of satisfaction and well-being. Most anti-depressant medications work by increasing the amount of serotonin available to your brain. What this means is that being nice and doing nice things for others changes your brain in a way that makes you feel better. Best part? No side effects.

We do not expect that next week everyone in town will be blissfully happy. That sounds like a creepy episode on the Twilight Zone from the 1960’s.  We do hope that people will turn up the “nice dial” a couple of notches. Is there really a need for four cars to honk their horns simultaneously because someone is struggling to turn against the traffic? That just adds to an already stressful situation. Hold the door for the person behind you, and say “thank you” when they do the same for you. These are little things we can do.

Life is stressful and uncertain. Many are concerned about what is happening nationally, economically, internationally and even locally. There is anger and fear being hurled at us from all directions. Let’s not let that consume us here in Greenwich. Let us, as a community, try to be a little nicer to one another. After all, it will make you feel better.