Is it Resolutions or Reservations for the New Year?

new-year

By: Maggie Young

New You, New Ideas, and New Hopes. The year began with great expectations of life being different in 2021 and a grand goodbye to 2020, although no one knows what tomorrow holds. The word “New” led and likely continues to lead greetings and conversations with individuals you have not seen or greeted this year as of yet. What did you tell yourself that you would change, do, not do or repeat this year? Resolutions are commitments to; new beginnings, starts, stops, that is of course assuming one wants to stop or start a behavior.

A statement that looks through the lens to stop engaging in a behavior and/or vice that is viewed as negative and to redirect oneself to start engaging in a healthier more attractive activity or behavior follows the word resolution.

We are Three weeks into 2021, by now; your new year’s resolutions should be if not directly, loosely kicked into reality. Resolutions are similar to reservations. Resolutions, “Next year I will stop eating carbs and I will exercise at least three times weekly.” Reservations; “I will wait until next year to stop drinking and driving and I will not overuse my medication or smoke weed today but no promise about next week.”

It is typical for resolutions to focus on what one wants to enhance and/or what not to do and reservations as known in the recovery community is reserving the right or granting oneself permission to return to active use of alcohol or other drugs after having abstained from use for a period.

Typical resolutions highlight what needs to change, does not feel right, what we do not like or have received judgment from others. That lens can shift to one that is positive with a focus on enhancement of life, fostering and spreading love and kindness an opportunity that is always present. My resolution is to enhance my daily experiences by creating opportunities to be kind and measure it by the fullness of my heart. Nothing is new or original meaning there are footprints to follow in every opportunity, even spreading kindness, someone has already walked ran or trotted the path. Because we are meaning seeking people, we can miss opportunities if we take moments, experiences and interactions for granted while we look for meaning instead of looking within for fulfillment. What if we have already found meaning and because we were looking outward, we missed what is within our heart. If we fall into the act of conducting our life with a primary goal of pleasing others by meeting resolutions they set, resolutions set for exterior outcomes or for attaining approval by others how does one find peace and contentment? How about a spiritual resolution instead? We are quick to commit to a resolution to make tangible changes, what about a spiritual resolution to be kinder, more tender, genuine, and loving even to someone you do not know! One can never be TOO busy to be kind or tender; we never know who needs a dose of kindness to make it through the day. The basic pressures of life, expectations of love ones and feelings of separations and loneliness is enough for anyone to feel isolated and disconnected. Humans are relational and our birthright is to socialize with one another, hold your head up, say hello and smile, you may make someone’s day.

“Be kind without getting caught, smile at someone without expecting a smile in return even if you do not want to be smiled at, look someone in their eyes even when you do not want your eyes looked into. In moments of indecision or spiritual disturbance, do what you do not want to do, do not do what you want to do and be intentionally tender and genuine with yourself and others. Never be TOO BUSY to be kind, the little things count the most!

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