By: Kate Noonan Glaser
I spent the second half of 2020 enveloped in the ministry of presence. As a Chaplain for Greenwich Chaplaincy Services at Nathaniel Witherell, I spend a lot of time listening. I have the privilege of being present for those I serve: the elderly and their families.
When I sit with a family who has lost a loved one, I listen. When I spend time with a resident whose loneliness is almost too much to bear, I listen. When I pray with the staff at Nathaniel Witherell as they share their fears and worries, I listen.
I am learning through chaplaincy to stay present during difficult and sometimes heartbreaking conversations. When the conversation is hard or stymied I pause, stay present and hold the space. In order to hold the space, I sit silently and attentively. There is dignity in the quiet. A space is created where feelings can come to the surface to be felt and shared. As I become more seasoned in my ministry, I’ve discovered the pause allows a space for healing. This space is sacred.
My colleagues at Greenwich Chaplaincy Services model this behavior. They have shared their experiences, strengths, and hopes both with those they minister at Nathaniel Witherell and in their interactions with me. They hold the space between us with care and kindness. They listen.
Listening is tough. I easily get caught in my own chatter and before I know it I am listening to the noise in my head. An array of questions come to mind before I even realize I am not listening. How can I answer this? Will what I say even make sense? Or maybe even: I know how to fix this. In the age of rapid fire information, I find it is hard to be still enough to listen. I need to practice letting the chatter go and settle into being present. Once I settle into that stillness, my heart and mind are open to listen to others wholly and without judgement. It is in this space that we support one another. The space is sacred.
As I listen, I see angst ease. I watch smiles emerge through tears as people feel recognized and supported in their feelings through the gentle act of listening. I can actually feel loneliness ease as people are accompanied by someone who will truly listen.
Think back to the last time someone really listened to you. It is a gift to be heard. Offer that gift to others. Try the practice of listening. You may be surprised what you hear not only from the other person but from your own heart.
Listening is love.
