Super Bowl

By Icy Frantz

I remember when our kids first played football in the Greenwich Youth Football League. They were placed on the Putnam Generals (Go Generals!), which was both arbitrary and also determined by neighborhood, and almost immediately we knew that we had been brought into a very special kind of family. With pads on, our boys were as wide as they were tall. Practices were daily with Sunday mornings reserved for games. The coaches were good and tough, and the cheerleaders were gymnastic and energetic. Having grown up with sisters, I was new to football and didn’t understand much, but I loved the spirit and the friendships and the comradery both on and off the field.

I was completely surprised to learn that there are players on the field who never touch the ball. These are the unskilled players, a good description of our boys in those early years. The skilled players touch the ball, throw the ball, run the ball and score touchdowns. They are the stars and the ones interviewed after the game. It certainly seemed more exciting to be a skilled player. Over the years, our boys had the chance to do a little of both. The Generals prepared the way for high school careers for all three of them. There were championship seasons and defeated seasons, but it didn’t really matter. Being a part of a football team was what mattered. For a few years, one of our boys even had the opportunity to play quarterback and I remember his coach’s words to him after a particularly good game.
“Make sure you thank your line, they gave you some important blocks, some critical tackles and created some key openings.”

As I think of the game of football as we head into the much-anticipated Super Bowl weekend, it’s hard not to reflect back on our family’s connection with the sport and that coach’s words so many years ago.

As a parent, our role often involves playing the part of the unskilled player. We block and assist and create openings for our children every single day. We protect and pray that our children will stay within the safety of the pocket. This generation of parents has even been criticized for overstepping in this role; there are the much-maligned helicopter parents who hover, and the condemned snowplow parents who systematically remove all obstacles and challenges in a child’s way. But, I would argue that most parents, motivated by love, do the right amount of work behind the scenes to allow for a safe and productive game.

If you haven’t heard about Dick and Rick Hoyt, you may be missing one of the most inspirational parent-child stories of today. They are a father-son team that has competed in many athletic competitions: 257 triathlons, 6 Ironmans, 32 Boston Marathons. In addition, they have traversed the country on bike and foot, completing a full 3,785 miles in 45 days. It’s quite remarkable, but what is truly incredible is that Rick is a spastic quadriplegic with cerebral palsy.

For decades, until very recently due to health reasons, the father-son duo was a fixture of the Boston Marathon where Dick would pull Rick in a boat attached to his waste in the swimming stage, ride with him with a seat attached to his bike, and run while pushing him in a specially equipped wheelchair. All of these competitions are grueling and challenging when carried out individually, but they are heroic when competed with the additional weight.

What has been Dick’s motivation? One answer would be that Dick is a father, and parents will do anything for their children. But the answer that he gave when asked is even more poignant, “After our first race, Rick told me that when we are racing, he does not feel disabled.” And here is where the role of a linebacker and the inspirational role of a parent intersect.

In life, we all have many who stand on our offensive line. Mrs. Egbert was my center. (I have often thought that I would write an article entitled, “Everyone needs a Mrs. Egbert” but until I do, a mention of Mrs. Egbert here will have to suffice.) We met when I was in elementary school. She taught me music, and from what I can remember, I became quite proficient on the recorder under her direction. But it was later in life when we met again under different circumstances that she truly made an impact on my life.

Unbeknownst to me, Mrs. Egbert had returned to school to earn a degree in marriage and family counseling and it was in this capacity that our relationship grew when I was in my late teens and in need of some help and advice (a lot of help and advice!) beyond my family. For some, her tactics were a little unconventional, but for me, her strong and persistent blocking was just what I needed. She gave of her time generously and was hard-hitting when it was warranted, in the most loving ways. I remember, on one occasion, Mrs. Egbert knocking on my front door for a very long stretch. At the time, I just wanted her to go away, but she did not. She stood by me with the guidance and direction I required. She never gave up. For many years, Mrs. Egbert was in my huddle in the best of times and the worst.

Sometimes I wonder, why? I have to believe she knew she was making a difference, and that at some point, I would pay it forward, that I would become a part of someone else’s offensive line, maybe as a parent, a counselor or friend. Because that is where the magic happens.

It’s Super Bowl. Break out the chili and the bean dip. Rank the commercials. Stay up late on Sunday night. My team isn’t in the game this year, but I am still eager to watch. When you watch the 49ers and Chiefs take the field on Sunday, I hope you will look beyond the amazing skilled players. I hope you will notice more than the game-changing touchdowns, the athletic catches made by the receivers and the rushing yardage accomplished by the speedy running backs. Take note of the guys on the line, the ones who make it all possible, the unsung heroes, the ones who know the real meaning of teamwork. Then look into your own life and find the Dick Hoyts and the Mrs. Egberts. And remember the wise words from our son’s coach many years ago. Appreciate those who block and make the tackles that create the openings in our world and always remember to thank your line.

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