Editorial: On Civil Discourse

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Turn on the television, tune into any of the national news channels, sit back and be prepared to be assaulted by a continuous stream of uncivil discourse. It is not just politics, although it is readily apparent there at the moment. Our standards for debate, and even some discussions, has lowered to a crass “he said, she said” without the opportunity of moving the discussion or debate forward.

President George Washington once said: “Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.” When did it become the norm that in order to build someone up we have to knock someone down? We have even seen it here at the Sentinel in the form letters to the editor that we have chosen not to run because they attacked a person and did not further the discussion.

We do not look at the world, or our community, through rose-colored glasses. We recognize that disagreements are natural, and indeed vital, to the health of a community and nation. However you can have debate without rancor and vitriol. You can allow for differing opinions to be aired without concern that someone will try to knock you down because of it. You can respect the messenger while disagreeing with message.

Indeed we witnessed something close to that this week in Hartford. In a rare display of bipartisanship, Republicans and Democrats came together to vote overwhelmingly in support of fixing the $220 million budget shortfall in this year’s budget. We encourage them to continue their bipartisan efforts as they must now address a $900 million deficit in the budget that began on July 1.

Award-winning author and professor Pier Massimo Forni has focused extensively on civility. He writes “Civility means a great deal more than just being nice to one another. It is complex and encompasses learning how to connect successfully and live well with others, developing thoughtfulness, and fostering effective self-expression and communication. Civility includes courtesy, politeness, mutual respect, fairness, good manners, as well as a matter of good health.” He is right, of course. The word “civil” actually comes from the Latin word “civilis” meaning citizen.

Fast forward to modern times. In 1981 President Reagan was in a fierce battle over the federal budget with Speaker of the House Tip O’Neill. The democratic controlled house did not agree with the President. The debate was heated, contentious and hard fought, but it was respectful. Reagan famously said “After 6 p.m. we are all friends” and he meant it. He and the Speaker would often share a cocktail at the end of the day, putting partisanship away until the next debate.

We are missing that type of civil discourse desperately. There seems to be a prevailing attitude of “if they go low, we go lower” regardless of which side of a discussion or debate you are on. This is never a good idea. It is most prevalent in Washington but seems to be emerging more and more in Hartford and even here in Greenwich. What happened to taking the high road?

What can we do about this issue here in Greenwich? Well, for starters we can treat others with respect, even if we do not agree with them. We can be a little more patient, even when the car in front of you takes forever to move through the green light. We can smile and say hello. It’s the little steps that can help us return to civility.

English writer Samuel Johnson said back in the 1700’s: “When once the forms of civility are violated, there remains little hope of return to kindness and decency.” We hope he is wrong and we can turn the current uncivil discourse around for the sake of our nation and our community. Being civil costs us nothing. Take the high road, the view is much better.

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