Up until two weeks ago or so, we were enjoying living vicariously through some of our friends and neighbors who had travelled to far-flung warm sandy beaches to escape the seemingly never-ending winter. It has felt like a long winter, what with so many nor’easters and more notably, the barrage of bad news in the media. We felt like we needed an escape, as well. And a week ago, we got one, but not one that we expected.
The focus shifted, at first quietly, but then completely on April 17, the day Barbara Pierce Bush, formerly of Rye, NY, with a deep connection to Greenwich, passed away at the age of 92. As the news spread Tuesday night into Wednesday, social media feeds lost their near constant vitriol of anything having to do politics, candidates, or party affiliation.
It was replaced by the genuine mourning of a Former First Lady… one who was married to a Republican President, mother of a Republican President, a Republican Governor, and who was a Republican herself but one who also seemed to transcended politics. Social media, national media, and even international media all pressed the partisan mute button to extoll the virtues and life of a woman who became known as “The Enforcer” and “The Silver Fox.”
Barbara Pierce met her future husband George H. W. Bush when she was 16 and he was 17 at a Christmas Dance at the Round Hill Club, in Greenwich. They were engaged eighteen months later and married in 1945, while the future president was home, on leave, from World War II. For the next 73 years, she would be a constant at her husband’s side, throughout his career and beyond.
Through her family’s long involvement with public service, she was known for her feistiness and sense of humor. She was a keen observer of people. She had her husband’s best interests at heart. She had a sense of when people were disingenuous and a distaste for people who were not loyal; she did not suffer fools kindly or those who demonstrated blind loyalty. She wanted the best people around giving the best advice to enable her husband to do what was best for our country.
It was the manner in which Barbara Bush accomplished this that transcended politics. She understood that politics could be divisive, but that at the end of the day we were not Republicans or Democrats, we were Americans. We may take different paths, but our ultimate goal is always what is best for our country. She was graceful and beautiful and used humor to take away some of the sharpness of political rancor.
Nowhere was that grace more apparent than when, after her husband lost the Presidency, it became clear that her family and President Clinton’s had become close. President Bush, the son (43), tapped his father and President Clinton to lead the effort for humanitarian relief after the Tsunami in 2004 and Hurricane Katrina in 2005. It was about what was right for the country. As a result, a genuine friendship developed. It would not have happened without Barbara Bush. It was grace.
Perhaps we can take a lesson from Mrs. Bush’s well-lived life. We can find friendship even, and perhaps especially, in unlikely places. We can disagree about politics gracefully and find in each other what there is in common, what there is to love instead f focusing so hard on where we disagree. Perhaps there can even be compromise of ideas without compromise of beliefs. Politics should be more about public service and less about vitriol. She may have been “The Enforcer” and “The Silver Fox” but the reason she earned those affectionate nicknames, was because of her humor and respect for others, while insisting on grace from herself and others. Something to aspire to.
As has been often quoted this week, Barbara Bush famously said: “Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people – your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way.”
