By Daniel M. FitzPatrick
Pronounced “shaboo-shaboo,” this Japanese nabemono hotpot dish of very thinly sliced meat and vegetables cooked tableside in a Bundt-cake-pan-like metal bowl of boiling water is popular with tourists in Tokyo and the various “Little Tokyos” around the world.
It is also a family favorite of ours. We are fortunate to have several fine restaurants in the Greenwich area that serve shabu-shabu. If you have not tried it, I heartily recommend you do so.
When we were first introduced to shabu-shabu, we were told that it is the traditional Japanese reunion meal, and that the name derives from the act of dipping the meat into the pot for the brief amount of time it takes to cook, encouraging conversation around the table. The inconvenient truth (thank you, Wikipedia, for bursting yet another perception bubble) is that it was introduced in Japan in the 20th century with the opening of the restaurant “Suehiro” in Osaka. Whatever its history, we have adopted it as our go-to meal when members of our nuclear family come together after long absences.
I mention this because reunions are on my mind at present. Over the next few weeks we will be participating in two family reunions—one large, the other gigantic.
Shabu-shabu will not be on the menu at these gatherings of mainly German and Irish-heritage relatives, but the centerpiece of each will be making time to be and eat together. The simple act of sharing a meal brings everyone together, making even previously unfamiliar relatives feel part of a larger, common family. Reunions of all sorts can be wonderful things. It’s a wonder we don’t hold them more often.
Another inconvenient truth is that our nation—indeed the world—is one big family, though we don’t act like it. Families can exhibit considerable diversity, particularly in opinions. Check.
Families argue about many things, particularly those opinions. Check. Individual family members can be very competitive, and fight. Check. They can turn on each other, betray each other, hurt each other. Check, check and check. But when a family member or the family itself is threatened, they generally put all that aside and come together to resist the threat. Errr…
As a nation, we are experiencing the breakdown of civility and the dearth of civic mindedness. Everything has become political, and it seems every conversation is a win/lose zero-sum game where truth is relative and spun without conscience to fit the narrative of the moment (which itself rarely relates to advancing the general welfare). In the old days, we used to call that lying. And most people know that lying undermines trust, and the lack of trust destroys families.
So what to do? A simple proposal: more communal meals, starting with our political leaders of all camps. “Food summits,” beyond just beer. If it works for regular families, it just might work for the larger ones. A suggestion for the menu? Why, shabu-shabu of course!
Dan FitzPatrick is an active member of the community and a volunteer. He serves on the board of Greenwich Emergency Medical Services, Inc.
